Glad for a coat in a hot room of military folk

Today was a big day - some of you know that I've been working on a military project and, as Bubba can attest to, I've been psyched for a month for the big "military defense" of our project today. Psyched. Anxious. Panic attack anyone? So, I started shopping (at goodwill of course) for the "perfect" outfit to look VERY professional and super-smart (if not portraying it in the defense) for the big day. And I thought I found it, but when I got home it didn't match. No worries - I was unpacking and found a killer skirt that I had totally forgotten about from days gone by. I got everything ready, tried it all on, fit great, and got everything ready to go today.

I teach and walk all around campus doing my various things before the big meeting at 3:00, at which point, I go to the "Round Table" - the big head honcho meeting place in APL (Applied Physics Laboratories). But first I just have to change my shoes (from boots to killer patent leather ahem heels - not that I'm in love with them or anything). So, I do that and hustle up to the meeting. I go to sit down at the round table and as I do so, something strange happens. Somewhere between the changing of the shoes and the going up the stairs, I appear to have lost 10 pounds or my skirt grew 3 sizes because it completely came off me when I sat down ... to the point that MY ENTIRE BUTT was hanging out of the skirt. LUCKILY, the funders where on the other side of the (thankfully) round table at this point, so I whipped my hand down as fast as I could and yanked that sucker up while checking left and right to make sure no one had seen - so fast, in fact, that it probably looked as if I suffered from a momentary set of double tics.

Oh no! What to do? I have to lean over to click through my slides when I give my presentation and somewhat face the board to reach up and point out certain parts of the presentation. While I may have escaped detection this time, there is certainly no way I'm not going to get caught with my pants down during my talk. Think. Think. Think. Aha! I brought my trusty (and long) coat with me that I can throw on. Never mind that it is 100 degrees, and I'm wearing a suit, just like the big boys (no "oh, I'm cold in my little blouse" excuse here). I don't care. I may look like I'm having some kind of weird cold flash, but hey... whateva. The only challenge is... my coat is in front of the room, behind the PI who is now in the middle of discussion, and I'll be up right after him. So, I wait for a pause. No pause. Wait, here a pause... nope, he got back to right in front of the room (with his butt right in front of my coat to the point it would look not-so-good if I got caught at his butt-level grabbing my coat and he stumbled back into me). As I was on my tippy toes waiting for the "perfect pause" I realized something - when I get up to quickly grab my coat, half bent over trying not to make a scene - what if my skirt ends up around my ankles then too? Oh, dilemma... Oh, dilemma... sweating, sweating - PAUSE! I carpe the second, seize my skirt in my hands, reach out for my coat, swing back into the seat and before my heart can skip another beat, the whole thing is over. Never mind that I'm wearing a coat in a hot room of military folk. They'll atleast never know notice if my skirt falls down!

Thought you might get a kick out of that.