On being the "piano bitch"--a rant

Yes mom and dad, I'm aware that you may not enjoy the title of my post. But let's face it, there's really no other phrase that adequately fits the way I have been treated the past few days.

So I learned a Mormon lesson a very long time ago--never, ever, under any circumstances, let anyone in the church know that you play a musical instrument--ESPECIALLY the piano. This is an invitation for disaster my friends. Perhaps it works this way in all churches--I don't know, I've only had experience with one.

It started in my first singles ward post-high school graduation. Despite the fact that I knew nothing about the organ (yes, contrary to popular belief, it IS different from the piano), I was still called to be the ward organist. And I did it. It was important to me that the songs I played in this calling had to be those with which I was already familiar, as trying to learn a new instrument (with foot pedal notes!) was hard enough. Yet still, I came every Sunday. And most Sundays, without fail, the chorister would "mention" to me that she had "changed" some of the songs for the day. Bye-bye to a week of practice. Hello to sucking it up in front of 200 people as I try to sight read through a new song on an instrument that I don't really know.

Next came the calling to be the ward choir pianist in my university ward in Seattle. You would think that when scheduling a choir rehearsal, the pianist would be the FIRST person you would want to assure could be there--after all, you can't rehearse very well without the accompaniment. But time after time, I would only learn that there was a rehearsal the day that it was being held. Sometimes, if I was lucky, I would actually get the music a few days in advance. If I was really lucky, I'd have more than a days notice that we were performing in sacrament meeting. It was just assumed that I could make time for all of this--nevermind that I was attempting to be a decent student, and that I might have a lot of homework that day that I was planning on actually completing.

On to my latest experience. I had learned to keep my piano talents a secret--but the problem is, three couples from mine and Cameron's new ward helped move us in--and the piano was hard for them to miss. Inevitably, word got around. Fast forward to the Christmas season. My "visiting teacher" asked me if I wouldn't mind playing some songs for the "Night in Bethlehem" pageant thing that the ward is having this Saturday. I knew it was the day after finals ended, and I knew that I would be really busy and stressed this week, but I figured the music would probably be easy enough so as not to cause a problem. Besides, this woman who asked is actually very nice, and I do like her. So, I agreed. I know, it's my own fault.

So the woman actually taking care of this whole pageant (we'll call her Sister Smith) gives me three pieces of music two weeks ago. This is enough notice for me, and the music is simple enough. Then, last night. So, I'm studying for an extremely stressful final that I had this morning. A knock on the door. My visiting teacher. Just dropping off the music from Sister Smith in a helpful binder, rather than looseleaf. I thank her. Then, I look in the book. There are TWELVE pieces of music in that book. Wait, it's three days before the pageant and I'm supposed to learn NINE new pieces of music that no one bothered to tell me about whilst in the middle of finals week? What's that visiting teacher? There's also a rehearsal tomorrow? Wait, I have learn nine new pieces by TOMORROW? When I'm in the middle of studying for a final tonight? What's that? There's also a rehearsal Saturday that no one thought I was important enough to tell about?

Great.

Just great.

Global warming, political agendas, and BYU

Since we've been talking a lot about BYU as of late, I thought I would throw out this kudos to some of their science faculty.
A few weeks ago, the Utah Legislature had a radical minority scientist from Alabama who thinks climate change is not caused by humans talk in front of them. A professor from USU called the guy a "fringe" scientist and said that the legislature should not listen to him. The good legislator from Kanab then called the president of USU and said that that professor needed to be disciplined.

In response to all this, 15 or 20 BYU science professors wrote a letter to the legistature assuring them that climate change is caused by us, and that they ought to make decisions based on the scientific evidence instead of taking the oposite point of view for political gain.

So in this case, good for the BYU profs. And as for my state's legislature, I think come January I'll once again need a padded room to run around in to get out my aggression and anger once their session of lawmaking begins.

For the female soccer fans....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMAtxuCpsMU&feature=popt00us06

And maybe for the BYU haters too!

(This actually randomly popped up when I was look for a news clip about the Fort Hood shooting, weird)

Can you believe the lewdness of those people?

Who would ever want their kids be corrupted at that school?

Oops

Clearly my last attempt was a failure. Just check out this webpage:
http://www.globalone.tv/profiles/blogs/liberals-vs-conservatives

Liberals and Conservatives

Glad for a coat in a hot room of military folk

Today was a big day - some of you know that I've been working on a military project and, as Bubba can attest to, I've been psyched for a month for the big "military defense" of our project today. Psyched. Anxious. Panic attack anyone? So, I started shopping (at goodwill of course) for the "perfect" outfit to look VERY professional and super-smart (if not portraying it in the defense) for the big day. And I thought I found it, but when I got home it didn't match. No worries - I was unpacking and found a killer skirt that I had totally forgotten about from days gone by. I got everything ready, tried it all on, fit great, and got everything ready to go today.

I teach and walk all around campus doing my various things before the big meeting at 3:00, at which point, I go to the "Round Table" - the big head honcho meeting place in APL (Applied Physics Laboratories). But first I just have to change my shoes (from boots to killer patent leather ahem heels - not that I'm in love with them or anything). So, I do that and hustle up to the meeting. I go to sit down at the round table and as I do so, something strange happens. Somewhere between the changing of the shoes and the going up the stairs, I appear to have lost 10 pounds or my skirt grew 3 sizes because it completely came off me when I sat down ... to the point that MY ENTIRE BUTT was hanging out of the skirt. LUCKILY, the funders where on the other side of the (thankfully) round table at this point, so I whipped my hand down as fast as I could and yanked that sucker up while checking left and right to make sure no one had seen - so fast, in fact, that it probably looked as if I suffered from a momentary set of double tics.

Oh no! What to do? I have to lean over to click through my slides when I give my presentation and somewhat face the board to reach up and point out certain parts of the presentation. While I may have escaped detection this time, there is certainly no way I'm not going to get caught with my pants down during my talk. Think. Think. Think. Aha! I brought my trusty (and long) coat with me that I can throw on. Never mind that it is 100 degrees, and I'm wearing a suit, just like the big boys (no "oh, I'm cold in my little blouse" excuse here). I don't care. I may look like I'm having some kind of weird cold flash, but hey... whateva. The only challenge is... my coat is in front of the room, behind the PI who is now in the middle of discussion, and I'll be up right after him. So, I wait for a pause. No pause. Wait, here a pause... nope, he got back to right in front of the room (with his butt right in front of my coat to the point it would look not-so-good if I got caught at his butt-level grabbing my coat and he stumbled back into me). As I was on my tippy toes waiting for the "perfect pause" I realized something - when I get up to quickly grab my coat, half bent over trying not to make a scene - what if my skirt ends up around my ankles then too? Oh, dilemma... Oh, dilemma... sweating, sweating - PAUSE! I carpe the second, seize my skirt in my hands, reach out for my coat, swing back into the seat and before my heart can skip another beat, the whole thing is over. Never mind that I'm wearing a coat in a hot room of military folk. They'll atleast never know notice if my skirt falls down!

Thought you might get a kick out of that.